The Eureka Effect: Case Of Everything Disappearing
by SpeakingThroughWrittenWords
Summary: Hearth Prequel, Mini-Story. Once upon a time, Vash and Heidi Zwingli stumbled across Hearth. Uh-oh. It doesn't help that they are promptly assumed to be criminals, either.
1. FYI

**The Backdrop of Vash's Mindset**

Vash picked up his first gun when he was six.

"Guns are power," his father said to him, as he showed Vash how to disassemble a 9MM handgun. "A power anyone can pick up and misuse. You might as well learn to use this properly."

It was something Vash had wanted ever since he could remember. He remembered watching his father practice flawlessly with his weapons and wanted to do that as well. If Huldrych Zwingli had not given him the opportunity, Vash did not know if he would have been able to keep away anyway. It was as if his hands were made for it.

"Hands are made for utilization," his father explained. "Destruction, construction, understanding. One has to be well learnt in order for hands to not accidentally destroy. Destruction can only be forgiven in protection. One day you will have someone you will want to protect even more than your family and for that day I want you to understand this."

He was eight by the time he was certain he understood what that meant. Still, Vash could not comprehend how it was possible that someone outside of the family could mean as much to him.

Proficiency was the most important trait. Understanding; ability. One month before his father died he was given his fate.

"We Swiss forget to have hobbies until it is too late," his father chuckled. "I did... your mother did not, but she was born in Belgium... Our children will not. You will not lack for things to do Vash, work or not. I want you to put down the gun for work."

It was not that Vash did not like banking – the exactness of it all was comforting. He just had not thought that was what he would end up doing. In the end, it was not. Vash learnt to utilize a gun for understanding.

People were much more willing to understand when they thought destruction was at hand.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Huldrych Zwingli sounds like he would fit into the world of Full Metal Alchemist._

_And yes, the schools in the City are excellent. Which is why people keep trying to get there: Fatimah, Yong Soo, Young Sil, and Heidi. Hearth is... Oh no, it's a trap!_

_This is a mini-story because it is not all that long. It is not a real story because it is not inspired by a Shakespearian comedy (as it is inspired more by the show 'EUReKA') and therefore I felt uncomfortable calling it a real story, but it did not work as a one-shot so I did not write it like that. It will only be about twenty chapters._

_Anyway, enjoy~_


	2. And Now You're Stuck

**The Arrival**

Heidi slept against him on the train while Vash cleaned his gun. Normally he would not do so in such a public place, but there was no one else on this train any longer. The last person had left a few stops back and no one else had entered this coach. Well, except for the conductor (who gave Vash chills just by being the area, something was wrong with the man), yet the man said nothing in viewing Vash's actions.

This transfer was going to be the best thing that had happened to them. Vash did as much research as could possibly be done. The schools there were excellent. Heidi was going to have the best higher education possible. She would be able to become anything she put her mind to. All Vash had to do was keep working. And save, definitely save. He would afford to send her to anywhere she needed to go, he just had to keep saving.

Needless to say, Vash was tired. The money from the Edelsteins had nearly run out. Every single penny saved was money _Vash_ had earned. Heidi's future would not be based on those terrible things.

This City was going to save them.

Vash did not know when he had drifted off. He startled awake as the train came to a halt. How long had he been out? There were not too many lights outside, had they missed their stop? Damn!

Either way, they had to find a place to stay for the night. He shook Heidi's shoulder. "Heidi, wake up. It is time to get off of the train."

The sixteen year old girl did so and they stepped off of the train into a town called Hearth.

"Did we miss our stop, brother?" Heidi asked him.

"I believe so," Vash responded apologetically. "Something we can rectify in the morning. Right now, let us find a place to stay."

It was not a big place, so it did not take long for them to find the single establishment that had rooms and board. For just having to have woken up, the woman in charge of the inn seemed perky and awake as she found them a key.

"It's not often we get visitors in Hearth," she told them. "There isn't all that much to see here."

"We're on our way to the City!" Heidi continued the conversation, niceness personified.

The woman's eyes widened slightly, smile still on her face. "Oh really? And you came by the train?"

"We missed our stop," Vash admitted as she led them towards their room.

"We are really out of the way here. The train only ever comes this far once a month. Rather erratically too. Doesn't stay for long, I don't think the conductor likes it much here."

Well, Vash did not like the conductor much, but he had bigger problems then that. "You mean the train will not be coming back?"

"Not for a month," she said apologetically. "You're going to have to find another way to the City."

"Oh dear," Heidi gasped, biting her lower lip afterward.

Vash felt complete and utter despair. "Is there... do you know if..."

"It can wait until the morning, brother," Heidi tugged at his sleeve, the innkeeper unlocking the door and handing them the key.

He nodded, allowing for Heidi's common sense to calm him down. "Thank you," Vash said to the woman.

"With breakfast we can talk about getting you some transport to the City," she said kindly.

Which left him with an entire night to worry about it.


	3. All  Of Them

**The Crimes**

The night after Alfred had come home for the summer break was the night everyone in Hearth came to misplace something. That would not have been too unusual. In fact, no one would have noticed or mentioned it at all.

Kat was used to things going missing. Arthur tended to blame those sorts of things on Maddox and if he did not need whatever it was he did not mention it until he did. Lovino blamed it on everyone – especially Ludwig and especially if Feliciano was telling him not to. Ivan would blame Natalia, though not out loud. Ludwig would give his brother a warning and Gilbert would complain to Elizaveta, who would repeat the sentiment.

But two people would blame no one but a real thief.

Tino's computer was missing, as was the entire composition of Eduard's herbal shelf. Not that he did much cooking... but still!

Eduard would not stand for it. Nor would Berwald.

"I didn't do it," Alfred said in the morning when both of them had come to see him. "And if you see my toothbrush while you're looking, I don't really care. I was going to buy a new one anyway."

Which left them wondering who in Hearth would bother taking an old computer and a bunch of herbs. Eduard considered asking Natalia if she had seen anyone sneaking around his house, but decided against it. Plus, if she had anything to do with it, he would rather not know.

Berwald, on the other hand, continued to have plenty of suspects. He went down the list. Maddox and Gilbert were at the top, along with his brother.

"You're joking right? Tell me you're joking," Matthias said. "Why would I take his computer? That's really stupid."

"Y're really stupid."

"Take that back!"

"Will the both of you stop that?" Mangus said irritably. "If you want him to believe you, Matthias, give him an alibi? And if you want to find the computer, Berwald, stop accusing an idiot. He's more likely the one who took my lamp."

"Hey! Take that back! You took my socket wrench."

_It's way too early for this_, Mangus thought, inwardly groaning. "I did _not_. Why would I need a socket wrench?"

"I sold you one last month."

"I... I didn't even need one then!"

"Then why'd you buy it?"

But then the lucky break came. Alfred (along with Yao and Muhammad) was not the only person to arrive in Hearth yesterday. When Berwald went to accuse Gilbert he was told that Elizaveta had two people from out of town at the inn, who had to have arrived late last night with the train. Berwald considered that just as Tino showed up to tell him to stop accusing everyone (having heard about it from Maddox who was apparently complaining about his favourite fireworks having gone missing).

"I let Brian and Roy know," Tino told him calmly. "They'll find it. Don't worry yourself over my computer, Berwald, it's okay!"

Berwald nodded an agreement for Tino's sake, but then went to make himself useful for their resident law enforcers who were currently trying to see if they could get fingerprints.

"Ye've lost yer touch. Ye can't get any fingerprints anymore."

"Ai can too! Ye're the one 'oo messed me up the las' time!"

Of course, what were they to do with fingerprints? Tino let everyone around here all the time. Berwald decided to get them in gear.

"New people 'n the 'nn."

And that was how Vash and Heidi became the prime suspects in the case.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Mangus bought the socket wrench because Matthias was raised by a salesman. Occasionally he can pull it off. Berwald did not inherit that same ability. Nor would he have wanted to._

_Fisher: I deleted it because I was going to make an original story out of the plot. Sorry for the inconvenience~  
_


	4. Roy And Brian Agree

**Vash's Decision**

Actually, the blame was placed solely on the boy named Vash Zwingli. The moment Roy put eyes on Heidi he could not think she had anything to do with it. He was not the type to have his suspicions dissuaded by a cute little face and younger people had been capable of worse. No, she was just too innocent. Even Brian seemed to think so.

So their attention was placed on that girl's older brother.

"An' ye both come from..."

"None of your business," Vash retorted.

Brian wrote something down. Roy could only imagine.

"Roy! Brian! Here for breakfast?" Elizaveta asked, obviously just having washed up dishes. Then she frowned, staring between them and the newcomers. "What are you doing?"

"We 'ave a couple counts of stolen goods on our 'ands, Liza," Brian told her.

"Mo' than a couple. An' tha' laddie's the most likely suspect," Roy finished.

"What?" Zwingli demanded. "How dare you! I have nothing to do with–"

"Vash, please!" his sister exclaimed, grabbing at his arm. "Let's just cooperate with them, then they'll know we're innocent."

Heidi's plea seemed to settle Vash slightly, but not enough to remove the glare from his face. It reminded Roy of Arthur, which was amusing.

"My favourite cast iron skillet is missing too," Elizaveta said, looking thoughtful.

"Ye shoulda known be'er than ta steal from under yer own roof!" Roy wheeled on to Vash, who simply continued to glare at him.

Brian looked incredulous.

"Wha'?" Roy asked him.

"That jist seems too stupid."

"Neither of them stole anything!" Elizaveta spoke up, grabbing all of their attentions again. "They got here just after midnight. Neither of them left and the only things they brought with them could not hold any stolen _anythings_ unless everything that was stolen were toothbrushes!"

Brian and Roy shared sidelong looks at each other.

"Why don't you go check out Ivan or someone?"

"We're jist doin' our job," Roy reminded her, something that seemed to deflate her defensiveness slightly. "An' jist 'cause ye're mad a' Ivan right' now doesn't mean we're goin' ta suspect 'im."

"I'm saying he's just as likely to have done it as these two," Elizaveta continued.

Elizaveta was not likely to keep up defending these two unless she was absolutely certain they had nothing to do with it. Roy liked Elizaveta and would like to think she was right. Still, he could only keep her opinion in mind.

Meanwhile, the older Zwingli had pulled something out and had handed it to Brian, who was looking over the identification with a bit of interest.

"Wha' is it?" Roy asked.

"'e's one of us," Brian commented, handing it back. "Officer Zwingli, surely ye can understand. We 'ave a job ta do."

"Which is why I understand you are wasting your time," Vash replied.

"A person yer description was seen on Pacific," Roy said.

"We were looking for a place to stay the night," Vash reminded them. "The train pulled into the station at midnight. We checked in here fifteen minutes later. Does that give us enough time to have committed your felonies?"

"Only if yer tellin' the truth," Roy chuckled.

"Then just check the–" Vash paused in mid sentence, glancing over at Elizaveta for a moment before looking between him and Brian. "The train is not on a consistent schedule, if I recall."

"That's true," Elizaveta nodded.

"We'll 'ave ta check if anyone 'eard it come in," Brian folded his arms across his chest.

"Then I will assist in the retrieval of these items," Vash announced. "If only to clear my name from these... _stupid_ accusations."

"You do realize that means one of them will be watching you at all times, right?" Elizaveta said, sounding a bit concerned.

Roy had no idea why she would be concerned. He thought it was a great idea. "An' what's wrong wit' tha', Elizaveta?"

"She seems troubled," Brian nodded, for once seeming to be thinking correctly.

"Ai ken. 'e'll be fine. We'll make sure o' it."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Elizaveta began, but Roy just grinned, gesturing for Vash to follow Brian out.

"An' ye keep an eye on the li'l lassie," he called in before turning all his attention to Vash Zwingli. "Take yer lead, officer. We'll be watchin'."

Time to see what a fancy officer from a big city would make of this, if anything. Things were about to get interesting.


	5. Interrogations 1

**Tino And Berwald**

Vash did not agree with this tactic, but if this was what they wanted of him so as to not bother him with their accusations, so be it. Personally, he thought that as this was a small town and they were the ones making the official call so they should be in charge. They knew more about this Hearth than he did. Nevertheless, he would show them how an investigation was done.

He would interrogate everyone involved.

Roy laughed and Brian was hiding his mouth behind his hand.

"What?" Vash demanded.

"Ai'll get ye a list," Roy said.

If they thought this was going to dissuade him (or make him _confess_ to something he had not done) then they were sorely mistaken. Vash knew he could handle whatever it was they were going to throw at him to prove himself.

The list was very long. Vash's eyebrow twitched. "Is this everyone?" he asked instead.

Brian whistled. "Let's jist stick with this first," he said.

The first people he went to see was the family which had a computer stolen. Apparently the both of them ran the general store in this small town. Which would make it rather unlikely that either of them were the culprit, but Vash was going to find all all he could from them anyway.

After glancing about the scene of the crime, he was invited to sit in the back of the store, where these two lived.

"Thank you for looking," the man named Tino said. "I hate to put you all through so much trouble!"

"Ye know it's nothin'," Roy shrugged. "Excep' our job, mind ye."

"When are you sure you last saw the stolen item?" Vash asked promptly. Tino replied, as his husband did not seem to want to open his mouth.

"Before we went to bed."

"When was that?"

"Oh... earlier than normal. Berwald and Matthias got into a fight."

"Who is this Matthias?" Vash asked, remembering that name was also on his list. Tino glanced over at Berwald as if waiting for him to say something, but replied nevertheless.

"Berwald's brother."

"What were they fighting about?" Vash continued.

Tino laughed, shrugging. "The usual. It's nothing new for them."

Berwald grunted, the first sound Vash heard him make.

"Where did Matthias go?" Vash decided to ask. It did not seem that Tino knew or really cared what they were arguing about. And, of course, Berwald was still a stoic mass.

"I called Mangus to take him home." Tino continued, graciously understanding what Vash was about to ask. "Mangus is their cousin. He is very good at dealing with Matthias. So we left them downstairs and went upstairs."

It sounded simple enough. Vash reviewed everything in his mind, certain he remembered all the relevant details. "Is there anything else?"

"We have a dog," Tino added. "Hanatamago."

Vash blinked, but knew that the weird name was irrelevant, as was Brian and Roy's snickering. "And?"

"He did not disturb us at all," Tino continued. "He would have done it if someone had broken in. He's done it before."

"Someone has broken in before?"

"Just some of the kids, back when they were kids. Wouldn't steal anything though! Those boys have grown up so much, haven't they Berwald?"

The glasses-wearing man nodded, the second sign Vash had that he was even paying attention. It was good to know he just was not staring at him without listening. Or glaring. Vash was not sure. This Berwald was slightly unnerving, but that was not important. He would not be cowed by how someone looked.

"Thank you," he said to Tino. "I will find your missing computer."

"Wait 'til ye get ta the rest o' the list," Roy corrected.

"Ignore them," Tino said. "They like messing around, but they're good at their job."

Vash had yet to see that.

But the rest of that list was looking a bit long.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Brian and Roy will laugh a lot in this story. All at Vash's expense._


	6. Interrogations 2

**Eduard And Natalia**

The next person he went to see was the second person to call in a complaint about stolen property. Vash had to fight an initial dislike as he walked up the hill to the large house perched on top of it. Extravagant display of wealth was distasteful, but he was not here to pay a social call, so it did not matter.

"Can ye believe only one man lives here?" Brian asked.

"Far too much space fer one," Roy agreed.

"We are not here providing social commentary," Vash reminded them.

"Ye need ta loosen up a tad," Roy told him, ringing the doorbell. Vash ignored the comment.

They were let in by the maid, who looked as suspicious as they came. Her eyes were slightly red and there was the slight imprint of a shadow beneath them, as if she had been up all night. Still, she led them to the owner of the household and remained at Eduard Von Bock's suggestion.

Actually, it looked more like she simply chose to stay, more than it having anything to do with her employer's wishes.

"Natalia told me it was all missing when she came in this morning," Eduard told them.

"I was cleaning in the kitchen yesterday," Natalia appended. "I had not finished before I left, so when I went to continue this morning I noticed it was all gone."

"What is missing, exactly?" Vash asked.

"The herbs."

"Everything in that particular cabinet," Eduard clarified, "which was a vast assortment of them. It's a strange thing to have to call 'thief' about, but it was not as if anyone asked to utilize them. They were stolen."

It certainly was strange, but Vash could not hold it against anyone for not wanting their things stolen. Even if they had a lot of things. "What time did your maid leave?"

Eduard frowned slightly, the smiled apologetically. "I'm not sure. I was on a business call all evening."

"A rather unsuccessful one, I think," Natalia replied. "I left around eight."

"Where did you go?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Brian flinch. Eduard began to look uncomfortable as well. Natalia's answer did not seem appropriate to everyone like that.

"I went to find my brother."

"Was he missing?" Vash questioned.

Natalia's hands tightened on her skirts. "I could not find him. Nowhere! Yao told me he had just been there, but I could not find him! He did not go home last night! I waited and waited..."

"I'm sure he's fine," Eduard said awkwardly. Vash stiffened as he heard Roy's voice in his ear.

"She's obsessed wit' 'im. 'e was prolly jist avoidin' 'er. Nothin' new."

That did not make any sense, but Vash still made a mental note to find out where her brother was all night if he had not gone home.

"I waited all night," Natalia continued, her eyes looking rather paranoid.

Vash was getting the picture. Then something else came to mind. Something a lot more useful. "If you were out all night, what time did the train come in?"

Natalia hesitated, her strained expression still not leaving her face. "Midnight. It came in at midnight. It left twenty minutes later."

"Ye're alibi was collaborated with by Natalia!" Brian exclaimed.

"A first fer everythin'," Roy agreed.

At least he had proved one thing, Vash supposed. Still, he had given his word with solving the rest of this mystery, so he would do so.

He asked Eduard for the number of the person he was on the phone with so as to get a time line that would agree with what Natalia had said. Eduard was slightly miffed, but agreed. It was not so much for Eduard's alibi as it was for Natalia's.

That girl was _creepy_.


	7. Interrogations 3

**Alfred**

**(Just Kidding, Arthur And Maddox)**

"Now, we ken wha' ye're thinkin'..." Roy started.

"..and we jist want ta say..." continued Brian.

"...if Natalia mentions anythin' 'bout Ivan, than tha' was wha' she was doin'. No question."

"Are you looking for a thief or an afternoon of entertainment?" Vash demanded of the two policemen. Brian shook his head.

"We're not joking, Officer Zwingli. That girl is obsessed with 'er bro'er. She cannae focus on anything else long enough ta be our culprit. Unless it was fer a plan ta get Ivan ta marry 'er somehow."

If anything, that made Natalia even more creepy. Vash narrowed his eyes down at his list, looking at the other people the other policemen thought would be important to see. That Ivan was on the list, as was Matthias. But the next person was apparently the other person to come in yesterday.

"Actually, Alfred, Yao, an' Muhammad came in yesterday," Roy said. "Bu' it's Al 'oo's important. The o'er two 'ave a job tha' takes 'em in an' out."

"Alfred's going ta college," Brian said, sounding rather proud. "Eighteen an' well on 'is way ta becomin' a doctor!"

He was not going to mention how ridiculous they were making that sound, as if this Alfred was nearly done with his college education or something. Whatever the case, he was about to find out.

Apparently this Alfred was their nephew, because Arthur Jones was their brother. He did not ask why all their last names were different. He did not think he wanted to know.

"You're new to Hearth?" the man named Arthur asked, offering him some tea and scones which he was emphatically told to decline through wild gestures by Brian and Roy behind Arthur's back.

"Just passing through," he explained.

Arthur laughed, but did not say anything to explain what he thought was so funny. "Maddox!" he called down the hallway. "He won't likely show, but it's worth a shot," he explained.

"Maddox?" Vash asked. That name was on the list, circled and underlined thrice.

"My other other son," Arthur rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. "He lives in my basement and doesn't seem inclined to leave, twenty one or not."

"I am only twelve in my heart," said the man who was probably Maddox, right behind Vash.

Vash reacted accordingly and whipped around. Maddox did not flinch, simply staring at him with a face just as immovable as Berwald's but with less emotion displayed.

"Did ye steal anythin' yesterday?" Roy asked.

"Only my heart," Maddox replied in the same monotone, placing one of his hands (still covered by his sleeve) over the general area where most people had a heart.

"Narcissism at it's best," Arthur muttered, not seeming to care too much.

"Would you like it?" Maddox asked Vash.

"Like what?" Vash asked, rather lost, though doing his best to stay on the ball.

"My heart. Five hundred dollars."

"Just out of my price range," Vash retorted bluntly before turning back to Arthur. "Where were you yesterday evening?"

"I met with Alfred, since he just came home from college," Arthur said. "Nothing else spectacular happened."

"Except for all those body parts I put on the market," Maddox continued. "You can have my foot for three hundred. Is that in your price range?"

Was this man serious? Obviously not. Vash did not know why he was continuing to say these things while he was in the middle of an investigation. He glanced back at him briefly to give his answer. "No."

"Well I am not giving it up for free," Maddox said.

"If ye want ta make a sale with Zwingli, ye'll 'ave ta," Brian sighed.

"This is not important," Vash interrupted, fixing his eyes on Maddox once more. "Where were _you_ yesterday?"

Maddox let his arms sway at his sides. "I was everywhere."

Vash narrowed his eyes. "That is not an answer."

"_Everywhere_," he repeated.

"At one point he was at Gilbert's house," Arthur cut in, reclaiming Vash's attention. "He took his football, so I returned it after meeting up with Alfred."

"I hear that was a spectacular kick, Dad."

Arthur's ears turned pink. "Shut up and answer his question."

"Ai'd believe 'e was everywhere," Roy shrugged. "No reason not ta!"

"Where is this Alfred?" Vash demanded, more exhausted with this household than he had been at the previous two.

"Probably at the doctor's," Arthur suggested. "He is probably in some health related conversation with his hero right now."

"No need ta sound bitter," Brian smiled, patting Arthur on the shoulder.

"I don't sound bitter! I'm just missing my sewing machine and for once it's not Maddox's fault!"

This was really not getting him anywhere, but Vash made sure to add what he had learnt here to his mental diagram of what had happened yesterday. He turned around to see that Maddox was still standing there behind him.

"Boo," he said blankly.

_There is something wrong with this town_, Vash decided, leaving the dark haired man behind.


	8. Interrogations 4

**Gilbert And Ludwig**

Roy and Brian caught up with him before long to give him a push in the right direction to the next person on the list. "Ye're gonna hae 'im," Roy said gleefully.

Vash did not mention he had not found anyone else but the innkeeper and the talkative owner of the store at all tolerable. After all, none of that mattered. What mattered was finding the culprit, something these two '_officials_' did not seem to be taking seriously.

Still. He looked at the name of Gilbert with a certain trepidation.

They came across him outside of the house of another, his face one entire bruise and a bandage over his nose.

"Vhere's my shovel?" he was shouting at the house.

"Don't change de subject!" the person in the house shouted back. "My ceiling fan! Now!"

"They were at this when we stopped by earlier," Brian mentioned. "Ludwig was about ta let it go, but Gilbert 'as obviously decided this is a great opportunity ta annoy 'is bro'er."

There was something wrong with familial relations in this town. But Vash's mind was stuck on something else. "His _ceiling fan_?"

"Yep."

"Such serious crimes," Brian shook his head, his glasses reflecting the light.

Apparently Ludwig was much more willing to come out when Brian grabbed his attention. Gilbert was grousing about the entire situation and shooting his brother glares which did not look all that healthy. Then again, it might have been because of his albinism, so Vash did not comment. Then again, it could have been because it looked like he just had his face smashed into a wall. Vash could have commented on that, but he did not care to.

Ludwig was missing his ceiling fan and Gilbert claimed to be missing a shovel. Ludwig commented he did not think Gilbert owned a shovel. Gilbert said he did and it was missing and his brother reminded him that was _his_ shovel.

"When did you last see these items?" Vash asked before the brothers could begin to bicker once again.

"Last night, right after I brought out de extra blankets," Ludwig said promptly.

"You made Feli sleep out on de couch?" Gilbert exclaimed, shocked.

"It vasn't for Feliciano."

"You let someone else sleep ofer your house?"

"Dat is none of your business, Gilbert."

"Who stayed the night?" Vash cut in. Gilbert grinned at Ludwig, awaiting his answer. Ludwig did not look back at him, instead meeting Vash's gaze.

Finally, someone other than Tino who wanted him to be thorough.

"Ivan Branginski. He vas hiding from his sister. Neider of us heard anyding last night dough."

"How'd he convince you to get involfed?" Gilbert practically shouted. "Are you an idiot?"

"I leafe dat to you."

"After I find dat shovel, I'm shoving it up your–"

"And the shovel?" Vash interrupted once again.

"Vhat about it?" Gilbert asked, frowning.

"When did you last see it?"

"I dunno."

Another voice sounded from within the house, echoing out of the open front door. "You have a large hole in your ceiling."

"Get out of my house, Maddox!" Ludwig called in.

Maddox came out of what looked like the kitchen window and rolled into the bushes. Vash could not help but stare as he tried to think of what he was about to say.

"What 'appened ta yer face?" Brian asked Gilbert. Gilbert scoffed, looking away.

"Noding!"

"Ah. Ye always look like tha'. Ai see," Roy nodded.

"Shut up! I... I..."

"He vent to our doctor to get his face patched up," Ludwig told Vash. "Football to de face."

"Ha!" Roy laughed at Gilbert, but Gilbert was too busy glowering at Ludwig to reply.

"If Dad had thrown me instead, he would feel much better," Maddox said, now standing on his hands in front of the bushes. Vash looked from Ludwig, to Gilbert, to Maddox, to Maddox.

"You still have not told me where you were yesterday evening," he announced.

And just like that Maddox walked away on his hands. Vash overheard the conversation behind him as he watched the man go with disbelief.

"Ai would hae fer Liza ta be righ' by this poin'," Roy was saying to Brian. "Ivan coulda pulled tha' ceiling fan out o' Ludwig's ceilin'."

"Only obviously," Brian reminded him. "Back ta square one."

_Why will that man not just say where he was?_ Vash screamed at them in his mind. But they were not worried about Maddox. They did not seem worried about anything. All of these missing items and all of this chaos and Roy and Brian did not really seem to care. _Why is everyone here so difficult?_

Only by reminding himself of his own claim to solve this mystery was he able to stay calm.

Before they left the premises, Vash found a note left on the ground where that man had rolled into the bushes.

**Stop messing around.**

**I cannot set things on fire.**

**I need my works now.**

"That is it," he muttered, crumpling the haiku in his fist.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Because his _fireworks_ are missing. Get it? *shot for stating the obvious*_


	9. Interrogations 5

**Feliks And Xiu**

The only reason Feliks was on the list was because it would be easy to hide things in his house without his knowledge, Roy told Vash. When Feliks was working on things he might go from room to room while looking for something he needed, but considering how many pieces of fabric and supplies were strewn about the house...

Even a computer could be hidden in there.

"I'm not usually so disorganized," Feliks explained, pushing and prodding at the woman who was wearing a dress he was hemming the bottom of. "Things have just gotten, like, totally out of hand recently. And Kat comes over to help out, sweet girl, but she is as clumsy as anything. It, like, makes the mess worse! Have you decided on the colour you want there, Xiu?"

"Yes," said the other as she pointed at a piece of fabric on the table.

"Perfect! I was, like, hoping you'd want that one!" Feliks grinned as he continued to work. Vash opened his mouth to speak, but Feliks continued. "I'm missing a whole box of pins I know I put on the table here. That is one of two boxes I actually know where they are! Except, like, now I only know where one is, as that one is _so_ not there."

"Here is another one."

"Thanks Maddox, sweetie, but I told you to stop coming out of my closets," Feliks said, taking the box of pins from his hands, eyes slightly narrowed.

Vash stared at Maddox, then at the closet he had come out of. "How did you get there?" he demanded to know.

"I entered it," Maddox replied, as he reentered the closet and shut the door.

Roy and Brian were snickering, but the only one who had not reacted to Maddox's sudden entrance was Xiu, who either had completely missed it or actually was not effected by it.

"Are you missing anything?" he asked the woman called Xiu, knowing the answer but not wanting to hear it.

"My husband," she replied simply.

He wondered if this was anything like Natalia and her brother.

"Uh-uh! Remember, you aren't supposed to be thinking about that," Feliks tutted. "That's why you're here."

"'e's nae missin'," Roy whispered into Vash's ear, this time sort of blowing on his ear and causing Vash to struggle not to rub it. "Ai think they're fightin'."

At this point, Vash was not sure what to believe. Was this important? Probably not. They were here to search the place, after this interview. "Where were the both of you yesterday?"

"Here!" Feliks exclaimed. "Where's that ribbon?"

Maddox stepped out of the closet, holding it out.

Feliks scowled, snatching it from his hands. "What did I, like, say?" But before he finished speaking Maddox had gone back into the closet. Feliks went back to his task (both of the dress and answering Vash's question). "I was working so hard yesterday. All yesterday! Until, like, Kat told me to go out to the restaurant. Feli totally solved my problems, he's so totally good at that! You see, I was trying to–"

Feliks went on for some time. Vash made Brian listen to him (much to the Irishman's dismay) while he turned his attention on Xiu. "And you?"

"In the evening?" Xiu repeated, looking down at her feet while she thought. "I went for a walk. I spoke with Lovino. That was around seven, I think. When I went out for a walk, not when I talked to Lovino. I do not know exactly when that was."

"Seven thirty two," came a voice from the closet.

"Get out of there!" Vash demanded, wheeling on the closet. He opened the door himself, only to see no one there.

He stared.

Roy chuckled. "'e does tha'."

"Check the ceiling," Xiu suggested, something of which seemed to surprise Roy. So Vash looked up, only to see the same impassive face on the man who currently had his feet on one wall and his hands against the opposite one.

"_You_ stop messing around!" Vash retorted, before closing the closet door and shoving a chair in front of it. Returning to his task at hand, he noticed that all four of the citizens of Hearth were simply staring at him in shock. "Is there something else wrong?" he asked calmly.

"That depends on your definition of '_wrong_', honey," Feliks replied.

"Is that all?" Vash asked Xiu.

She hesitated for a moment before blushing slightly. "Then Antonio showed up and after they argued they went home."

"No surprises there," Roy commented.

Nevertheless, after searching the house and not finding anything, it was time to move on. Vash removed the chair from the door to let Maddox out and to check the closet.

Maddox was not there.

Vash was not amused.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Sorry for missing yesterday, all. Still suffering from post-convention fatigue. And things are looking to get busy here all of a sudden, but I will do my best to keep up._


	10. Interrogations 6

**Feliciano And Lovino**

Neither Brian or Roy seemed to know or care who the next person on the list was as they seemed certain that Vash needed to talk to the proprietors of the restaurant. Vash soon realized that was a thinly veiled attempt at getting something to eat as it was about lunch. If it was lunch, he wanted to return to the inn and check on Heidi. But if they were using this as an excuse to eat, Vash could _not_ do the same. He had to stay professional. Heidi would understand. She would be fine.

"Hi! I'm Feliciano and this is my restaurant! We never get new people here. At least, not all that often. Here's a menu, but if you want to know anything you can just ask me or my brother! Well, probably not my brother, but you can always ask me! And if there is something you want that isn't on the menu, feel free to ask and we will do our best~"

Vash stared.

Feliciano stared back, smile still on his face.

"We're ready ta order, Feliciano," Brian mentioned.

"Okay!" Feliciano said happily as he went over to the other two policemen.

"Why can I not ask you?" Vash asked Feliciano's brother, who had been standing behind Feliciano during that entire spiel.

"Fuck if I know," Lovino shrugged, leaning back against an empty table.

The brothers returned to the kitchen soon enough, Feliciano saying something cheerfully and Lovino griping back. Not to be deterred, Vash followed them into the kitchen, ignoring whatever it was Brian was saying to him.

"You aren't allowed back here," Lovino said the instant he entered the back.

"I am not here to eat, I am here about the recent thefts," Vash informed them.

"I know!" Feliciano exclaimed, looking amazed. "Out of everything to take, the pasta? I don't even have enough to make dinner for myself tonight! How am I supposed to cook it for anyone else? It's terrible!"

"What do you need to know?" Lovino asked irritably, right before he seemed to consider something. "You don't think _I_ did it, do you? 'Cause that's stupid."

Vash did not miss the fact Lovino was not referring to his brother in that sentence. "I am listing all what was stolen and confirming everyone's alibis." _Including yours_.

That was not lost on Lovino, but before he could speak Feliciano was speaking again. "Well all the pasta here is gone! I mean, almost all of it. But I certainly did not use it all up yesterday. We needed to order some more, but we had a week left before worrying about it! That's a lot of pasta! As for my alibi, I woke up yesterday–"

"You can start in the evening, if you would please," Vash said, trying not to sound as weary as he felt.

"There were plenty of people who ate here for dinner. Ludwig, Yao, Muhammad, Hakon, Gupta..."

"Ivan showed up and left with Ludwig," Lovino mentioned quickly. "They were acting suspicious."

"Ivan was hiding from Natalia," Feliciano mused, taping a spoon against his lips. "Ludwig was _so_ nice about it! He helped him out. I don't think I could have, Natalia scares me! But Ludwig is so brave to help Ivan out~"

Lovino appeared to be trying not to throw up. Vash felt a bit off too, but it was mostly annoyance at how happy Feliciano sounded about Ludwig.

"Did Mr. Łukasiewicz come for dinner?" Vash decided to clarify.

"Feliks? He came to talk! Dinner was the side effect of that!"

Vash looked over at Lovino for confirmation.

"I left," Lovino snorted. "We were supposed to be closing up by the time he showed up. Wasn't my problem."

"When was that?"

"We were to stop serving around seven, if no one else was around," Feliciano explained. "But it's not like it's an exact time."

"Seven is an exact time. It was my god damned night off."

"Don't be silly," Feliciano said, as if there was something silly about it.

If it was the man's night off though, Vash did not see why anyone would hold him to more if the only person there was Feliks. Still, at least he was getting information. "Where did you go from there?"

"Home," Lovino said immediately.

"Nu-uh. You went out," Feliciano replied.

"I went for a walk before going home."

"And you live with someone named Antonio, correct?" Vash tried to remember.

"What?" Lovino shouted, flushing almost immediately. Feliciano started to giggle, so his brother threw a hand towel at him. "Do not!"

Vash counted to five in his head. "Yet you went home with him, yes?"

"Probably," Feliciano laughed. "Just don't expect him to admit to it!"

"_Zitto_, _fratello_!"

Feliciano did not seem to be bothered by the angry words, but true to what Feliciano said it did not seem like Lovino was going to admit to going home with that other man. Not that Vash could quite blame him, perhaps he should have spoken with the man one on one. It meant he would have to hear it from this Antonio before allowing for its truth or not.

Still, what everyone said seemed to be matching up with everyone else. Except for those alibis he had not managed to ask about yet. And Maddox, who had not given him one.

Despite this, he got out of the way as both the Italians made whatever it was Brian and Roy had ordered. Feliciano rushed in and out of the kitchen, not really appearing to pay attention to what he was making. It smelt good nevertheless. Meanwhile, Lovino took a little more time and attention on what he was working on.

"Is it hard having to handle your retarded brother?" Vash asked him when Feliciano was out of the kitchen.

Lovino looked up, seemed about to say something angrily, then thought twice about it. "Yeah. I manage. Not always easy though."

Vash nodded. He could probably act better about it, but Vash could not blame him from being short with other people if he had to deal with Feliciano's shortcomings on a consistent basis.

Leaving the kitchen, Vash stopped short when he saw Maddox sitting at a table, staring at a menu.

"What are you doing here?"

"Staring at a menu," Maddox replied.

"Sometimes he doesn't even order," Feliciano added sadly.

"Where were you yesterday evening?" Vash demanded as he strode over to the table, standing right next to Maddox. Slowly, very slowly, Maddox looked up at him.

"Not staring at a menu."

Vash became even more suspicious.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Maddox is not lying._

_Ouch, Vash. That hurts. Of course, you know that if Vash calls someone retarded, it is because he thinks they actually have that mental problem._

_My favourite line in this entire story so far has to be Feliciano's last line in this chapter._


	11. A Short Break

**Elizaveta And Heidi**

**(And One Important Other)**

Her brother had been gone for some time. Heidi tried not to worry. Vash could take care of himself. She just wished she had offered to go with. They would be less suspicious if they stayed together, would they not?

Elizaveta quelled her fears. "They're just suspicious. Since your brother did not do it, there is no evidence he did, and they will let it go soon enough."

"I'm not worried about that," Heidi assured her. No, what she was worried about was how her brother liked to deal with things. Would it be allowed for in such a small town as this? Or perhaps since this town was small it would be fine. Heidi was not sure. Her brother was very strict when it came to certain things. She hoped it was going all right.

"Tell me about yourself," Elizaveta asked as she started to sweep.

"Oh, let me help!"

Elizaveta smiled. "The counter needs some wiping..."

Heidi went to look for a rag and cleaner. Elizaveta supplied her with some and the both of them got to work.

"My brother and I have moved around quite a bit over the last few years," she told Elizaveta. "He just got a transfer to the City we mentioned, which is why we're trying to get there."

"What about your parents?" Elizaveta asked. "Neither of you look that old."

"Vash is twenty two!" Heidi informed her. "He's taken care of me since daddy died in an auto mobile accident."

Elizaveta stopped in her sweeping. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Heidi replied, a little quiet. "But Vash takes good care of me. He's even saved enough so that when I am done with my basic education I can go to college to learn photography!"

"So you like taking pictures? Do you have any I can see?"

Heidi did, so she went back up the stairs and to her bag to pull out her camera. Going back to the stairs, she bumped into someone while she was bringing up past pictures on her camera. "Oh! I'm sorry!"

She looked up to see someone she did not expect. "Mr. Edelstein?"

Roderich stared back at her, in shock and then warmth. "Heidi Zwingli. What a surprise! I did not expect to see you here."

"I never expected you either," Heidi replied, leaving out the fact she had never thought she would see him again the way Vash went on about things. Actually, he would not be happy about this, she reckoned. Not that Heidi understood why. She thought Roderich was very sweet and polite and he was _such_ a good pianist! "How are you?"

"...very well, thank you," he replied, though belatedly, to her question. "What brings you to Hearth, Heidi?"

"We meant to go to the nearby City," she explained. "And now people think my brother has stolen many household items last night!"

Roderich began to laugh, something of which Heidi did not think was all that sweet or polite, but understood that she was missing something to help her know why Roderich reacted like that.

The rest of their conversation was nice enough, short, and rather uninformative. She asked that Vash not see him and he asked that she not tell Vash he was here, so with that agreed upon she returned downstairs to see Elizaveta and one other person at the bar, sipping at their drink with hair covering all parts of the face other than the mouth and nose.

So Vash would not find out about Roderich, Heidi did not mention the fact she had met the other inhabitant of this inn or that she knew him.

Because it would upset Vash and Heidi could not have that.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Unfortunately, Erin has not been found anywhere in the chapter title. In the notes, however, Erin is doing well._


	12. Interrogations 7

**Ramon And Matthias**

They found Matthias at what Vash was told was Ramon and Xiu's home. Matthias was currently with Ramon, the both of them outside in lawn chairs, the former complaining loudly about something and the latter listening with what was either feigned interest or familiar patience.

"They work together," Brian said.

"An' some'ow get along," Roy added.

Vash knew from experience that beer could make that possible, so he was not at all surprised by Ramon and Matthias both having cold beers in their hands while Matthias ranted. It was not until Brian waved his hand in front of both their faces did either pay attention to the three policemen.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Matthias exclaimed. "Go an' tell my stupid brother that he can stick it up his–"

"I am here to corroborate alibis," Vash said, deciding this would be the best way of getting any sort of cooperation during this investigation.

"Okay," Ramon shrugged. "But who are you?"

For once, Roy was nice enough to explain the situation for Vash, not that either of the men seemed ll that interested. Matthias went back to drinking and Ramon simply made himself comfortable in his chair.

"In the evening?" Ramon rubbed his chin. "I'd just gotten home."

"From where?" Vash asked.

"Doctor's. Just a check up."

If that was all, would Xiu be so upset? Vash did not know. "After arriving home, what did you do?"

"Dinner. TV. Smoke." For such simple things, Ramon still frowned as if there was something wrong with it. Not that Vash personally condoned smoking either, but that did not seem to be what Ramon had a problem with.

"What about your wife?"

Ramon shifted uncomfortably in his seat and opened another beer. "She went out at some point. Came back an hour later."

"Where did she go?"

Matthias laughed. "You expect him to know where Xiu is, ever?"

Ramon punched him. Looking back and forth between Roy and Brian, neither seemed inclined to care about that. But both of their eyebrows shot up when Maddox popped out next to Ramon, mimicking the same motion without actually striking the darker skinned man. Not that it seemed to matter, Ramon still nearly shot off his seat with the motion.

"Maddox!"

"Yo," the man responded, raising a hand in greeting. Vash was not paying attention to anyone else by this point. He wanted to be in denial that Maddox Kirkland was here. As well as he wanted to know where the name Kirkland came from, as Arthur's last name was Jones.

Probably something he just made up.

"You are following me!"

At the same time Vash said those words, they were mirrored by Ramon. He stared at Ramon. Ramon stared back. "Now do not be silly," said Maddox. "I cannot be following _both_ of you."

"Says the man 'oo says he can be everywhere," Brian reminded him.

Maddox did not seemed phased. As per usual. Instead he turned his attention back to Ramon. "You should see Xiu's new dress. It is fantastic."

"Shopping!" Ramon exclaimed as if he wanted to curse a god for the entire concept of shopping. "Not with Feliks. Please tell me–"

"Oh yeah, frien," Roy acted sympathetic. "She's wit' Feliks."

A slightly out of breath Matthias cut off that conversation by talking directly to Vash. "I was at the shop and then I walked home. Mangus can vouch for that. I spent the rest of the night in my house. Doin' stuff." He then stared at Vash, as if waiting for him to deny that fact.

Vash did not feel like denying it. What he really felt like denying was the fact he had promised to help with this investigation. He really just wanted to go back to the inn and crawl under the bed until this was all over. Not that he would _ever_ let _anyone_ know that. Still, he tried to get some more facts.

Roy started to talk with Matthias.

Brian was now doodling on his notepad.

Ramon had downed another beer.

And Maddox had crawled under the lawn chairs, disappearing at some point.

"Zwingli, why're ye tryin' ta rip out yer 'air?"

* * *

_Notes:_

_Vash was not paying attention, but Matthias was laughing his head off and that was why he was out of breath._


	13. Interrogations 8

**Kiku**

**(Just Kidding, Ivan And Yao)**

They stopped in front of the house and knocked on the door, this being one of the places Brian and Roy said Alfred might be. There was something about the house that seemed a bit odd to Vash, but at this rate he believed he might become immune to it. Or at least numb.

The door opened a crack. "Hello?"

"'ello, Kiku," Roy said. "We're 'ere with Officer Zwingli ta talk 'bout the thefts. Anythin' missin'?"

"No. I cannot talk now. Busy!"

With that, the door shut.

"Wait a second!" Vash announced, rapping his fist against the door once more. "Open up! That was not one of your options!"

"We can come back later." Brian shrugged it off, causing Vash to whip about and stare at him.

"Later?"

Vash was not happy about this, but to be honest he had only been happy once today (when Natalia had backed up his claim about the time the train arrived), so it really was not that big of a deal. The other two were insistent that Kiku would not be that shut off if Alfred was there and it was time to move on. Despite his feelings on the matter, Vash decided he would come back to this house soon. It was not as if there were not higher prioritised people on the list.

"What are you doing, aru?" asked a man from a house they were passing, up from where he was standing on his porch. Vash decided to give him the entire explanation.

_This is "the entire explanation" in a single sentence._

"That didn't take long."

"Not when you are efficient," Vash explained. Brian looked like he was taking notes while Roy was staring two lines above. "Where were you yesterday evening, Mr. Wang?"

"Just gotten back into Hearth," Yao began. "We left the truck at the inn, like normal, aru. Shooed Alfred away." The Chinese man looked tired at the very thought of that. Vash's curiosity about this Alfred continued to mount, but he did not ask. "Shooed Muhammad away. Then went to stretch my legs."

"Glad ta 'ear yer back did na give out," Roy commented.

"Right back at you," Yao said, annoyed.

"Is there anything else?" Vash interrupted them, doing a smashing job of pretending he was not desperate for some more information.

"Nothing worth mentioning," Yao shrugged, leaning forward on the porch railing. "Stopped by the restaurant to have dinner, got in an argument with Lovino, helped Ivan escape Natalia... the usual."

Vash remembered Natalia mentioning something about a Yao, as had Feliciano include him in the list of people who ate at the restaurant. Most everyone seemed to be telling the truth. Excluding Lovino's obvious lie and the fact Gilbert was very tight lipped out what had happened to his face. And Maddox, not having said anything yet. Yes, he was on the top of Vash's list. Vash also had a feeling he would regret that.

"Helped Ivan escape Natalia?" he decided to question instead.

"Just pointed her in the wrong direction, aru. Don't tell her that."

"We ken be'er," Roy nodded.

"Yer secret's safe wit' us," Brian agreed.

"Where did Ivan go?" Vash asked, wondering why he was bothering as he was pretty certain he had the picture of what happened to this Ivan yesterday evening.

"Ask him yourself. He's right over there, aru." Yao pointed behind them, right before he waved at someone. "Ivan! Come and meet our newest policeman!"

"This is not permanent," Vash tried to remind him, but he was distracted by the giant of a man who was now striding over.

"New officer, _da_?" the Russian asked, looking down at him with this overly friendly smile.

"What are ye doin', Ivan?" Brian asked him.

"Looking for Ludwig's fan," Ivan said. "He vas so helpful yesterday zat I return favour now."

_There is nothing new in this,_ Vash thought miserably. He was getting very tired of this entire place and this investigation had gone on for far too long. Not that he had not had any that lasted longer. Most of them were longer than this. But this investigation felt like it had already taken over a month.

"Have either of you seen Alfred Jones?" he asked.

Ivan's face darkened. "Zankfully... no."

"Probably at the doctor's," Yao shrugged, seeming to find the entire idea distasteful. "He is flying through medical school like you would not believe, aru."

"It's because 'e 'as already been taugh' everythin' 'ere," Roy grinned.

"We will head there," Vash established, looking at the list. It seemed like of the people who had been prioritized he still had a few left, but at least people seemed to know where this Alfred was.

"Then we go this way," Brian pointed.

"Good luck, aru," Yao waved.

"I vill find ceiling fan first," Ivan continued, smiling once more.

Vash doubted it, but he took his leave.


	14. Interrogations 9

**Antonio And Katyusha**

They made a stop on their way to the doctor's office. Vash was sure it was because Brian and Roy thought his meeting people was funny, but did his best to take it in stride. Everything was matching up relatively well so far. There was going to be something that did not stick. He was going to find it eventually.

In fact, everything fit together _too_ smoothly. But everyone could not be possibly making things up to mess with him, could they?

Could they?

Vash did not want to know the answer to that question.

"This is Officer Zwingli. 'e's assistin' us wit' the recent rash o' thefts."

"Wonderful~!" said the hairstylist cheerfully. "Anything you need, feel free to ask! How about a haircut?"

The overly endowed woman the Spaniard was currently snipping locks from smiled over at him shyly.

"That will not be necessary," Vash replied as Roy pointed on the list who these people are. They were hastily scribbled at the bottom, like they had been forgotten about. Or, more likely, neither of them seemed possible of having anything to do with the issue. "I need to know where the both of you were yesterday night."

"With my sweet Lovi~" Antonio told without hesitation. "The proof is in the pudding!"

Vash would later check the man's kitchen and find that there was pudding everywhere that had not been cleaned up yet. It looked like it had been thrown several times and missed whatever the thrower really wanted to hit. With how cheerful Antonio was compared with how dour Lovino was, it did not take a stretch of Vash's limited imagination to guess a little of what had occurred.

Maddox would then lament on wasted pudding and Vash would nearly have a heart attack at his (once again) sudden entrance.

"I was with Feliks until late," Katyusha pondered, seeming uncertain about what came next. "Then when I was walking home Yong Soo showed up asking for some hair clips. He was so upset I gave him my entire box."

"That why ye're getting' yer hair cut?" Brian asked, thankfully as incredulous sounding as Vash felt.

Katyusha blinked owlishly, smiling weakly.

"Righ'," Roy rolled his eyes.

Vash almost whimpered. The key word there being almost. After all, it was beneath his dignity to actually whimper. Instead, he took the effort it would take to make such an undignified noise and used it to ask his next question. "Hair clips?"

Yes, that was all the effort.

Katyusha shrugged, only to have Antonio tut at her and reposition her head. "It's not that strange. Yong Soo occasionally asks for strange things."

It was not strange that he asked for strange things. Vash was certain that was not a proper use of English.

"I want to talk with this Yong Soo," he told Brian and Roy.

And though it was difficult, he managed to keep his unwavering courage while the two brothers looked sidelong at each other. Nervously.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Oh Vash. Not even one day and you have already lost sanity to this town. There is no immunity, there is just accepting it. But being barely able to handle one day does not bode well for him now._

_Though it is simply a good thing his imagination did not give him an idea of what Lovino and Antonio did after Lovino failed to throw the pudding bowl at the other._


	15. Interrogations 10

**Yong Soo And Muhammad**

Perhaps meeting Yong Soo or Muhammad by themselves would not have been so bad. By themselves, on a good day, with Vash inebriated. Yes, that would have helped extraordinarily. Or made it worse. Vash was not certain, nor did he really want to find out. He was simply aware that three people had no rights being in the same vicinity.

Yong Soo.

Muhammad.

And that devil of a man Maddox.

Vash tried to remember what he was doing here. Figuring out who was the culprit of last night's rash of thefts. Of course. Even though it had all been to prove himself innocent and he had already done that. Of course. He had given his word he would solve this and he would. Of course.

Vash wanted to grab Heidi and get out of here. It was really too bad that he was a man of his word.

"Where were you yesterday?"

"In the truck~"

"Here, _da ze_!"

"Everywhere."

Vash's eye twitched. Muhammad laughed, gaining some sort of entertainment from this that Vash could not even begin to comprehend. Yong Soo did not look like anything was strange at all. Maddox looked the same as he always did. Vash took a deep breath.

"Where were you last night?"

"That is a private matter, quite out of your jurisdiction young man!" Muhammad said. He did not sound as defensive as he probably should have for saying such a thing. If anything, he still sounded amused.

"Everywhere!" Yong Soo replied.

"Here," Maddox said.

"Let me try," Brian told Vash, clearing his throat. "Did anyone here steal anything last night?"

"Yes~"

"No!

"Always."

"Can I take that as a confession?" Vash asked.

"Ye're the one who wanted ta question e'erybody," Roy reminded him.

It was true, but Vash still said: "Shut up." Then he turned back toward the other three. "What did you steal?" he asked Muhammad, deciding to clear that up as soon as possible. Unfortunately, all three of them seemed to like talking in order so he got a reply from all of them.

"All of Yao's sanity. The drive is not short!"

"Nothing at all! Why would anyone steal anything? What a weird question!"

"I have stolen your wallet. Would you like it back?"

If Vash was a lesser man he would have lost it right then. Instead, he nearly spluttered as Maddox actually pulled his wallet out. "I am arresting you," he stated, not caring about anything else.

Maddox reached back into his sleeves and pulled out some handcuffs. Thankfully Vash remembered he did not have any currently. Brian, however, had begun to pat himself down.

"I believe you could use these," Maddox said.

"Thanks," Vash replied, cuffing him.

"Wait."

"What?"

Maddox did not actually say anything. He just stood there, blinking at him. Vash stared back, not sure why he was waiting. Roy sighed.

"Look," the younger brother said. "Ai cannae let ye do tha', Zwingli."

"Why not?" Vash demanded.

"Because 'e gave it back," Roy shrugged. Brian found the key and unlocked them.

"That is not how the law works!" Vash exclaimed, unable to recuff Maddox because the man was no longer in front of him.

"Why not?" Brian replied. "He just took it now, ta mess with ye. Calm down a bit, righ'?"

"We are in the middle of an investigation!" Vash reminded them, irritated for having to do so.

"An' arresting people na involved isn't goin' ta help."

Vash's other eye twitched.

Muhammad patted his arm. "There, there. You are too young to be losing your patience so quickly!"

"I'm not sure that's how it works," Yong Soo frowned.

"If you don't have it now, how can you have it later?" Muhammad asked. Yong Soo began to consider it. Vash tried to calm down.

"Where. Were. You." The rest of the question, _last evening_, would only come out if he shouted, so Vash stopped where he was. And surprisingly... Muhammad answered.

He answered for a total of thirty minutes. By that time Yong Soo and Maddox were gone.

"Does that answer your questions?"

"Sure does!" Roy nodded.

Vash noticed as Brian's eye twitched.


	16. Interrogations Finale

**Alfred And Rasheed**

**(The Title of This Chapter Could Also Be**

**What)**

Vash had finally realized how pointless this was.

He really should have read the script for this story first as it would have saved a lot of time.

Nevertheless, this was pointless. They were learning nothing. This entire process had been messy. Vash had ultimately lost faith in his abilities and was not certain why he was continuing at this point. No, at this point it would almost make more sense to round everyone up in one spot and search the town if they were to find _anything_.

"You seem stressed," the elusive Alfred said.

"There is a lion in the doctor's office," Vash informed him. You know, just in case Alfred had not noticed. The doctor certainly had. He was patting the head of the cub absently, like it belonged there. Which it really could not be. That was not even legal.

No one else seemed to think it was a big deal, for whatever reason.

"A friend of mine sent him," Rasheed said calmly. "Somehow."

No point in arguing it now. Vash was pretty sure if he did a tangent might just be started like it was with Muhammad and he really was not up for that.

Why was he talking with either of these people? They had nothing to do with it. He was sure of it. Rasheed was on the phone with Roy in the evening and Rasheed's cell was broken so he had to have been at home at the time. Alfred had apparently the tightest alibi the the world and Vash did not think there was any point in verifying it when he was certain all he would hear back was:

"Oh yeah? Alfred was there! He was always there!"

_Why was I even looking for him?_ Vash did not remember.

"This is impossible," he finally gave in. Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"What?" asked Brian.

"I... concede," Vash admitted through grit teeth. "I have no idea. My plan has failed. We are no closer than we were this morning. It has been the longest day of my life. My innocence has been proven and I just do not _care_."

"Tha' is jist na true!" Roy exclaimed. "Ye know we've gotten it narrowed down ta jist a couple people!"

"What."

"And Maddox, but 'e ne'er really counts," Brian added, flipping through all of the notes he had taken.

"What."

"Let's hear it," Rasheed suggested as Brian began to take note of everything they had learnt.

"What."

"Try ta listen, Zwingli," Roy rolled his eyes.

Vash opened his mouth, but no sound came out. _What_.

Despite how Vash's brain had broken, Alfred listened to his uncles as they went through everything. He went through all of it and realized who it was. He knew who it was, but realized that the entire picture could not be this person stealing things. This person was in trouble.

Because, after all, he would never be so quiet about making trouble unless he was in trouble.

Therefore, it was Alfred Jones who escaped the doctor's office (with Rasheed giving him silent approval) heading off to the Im household right as the law enforcement officers were coming to their conclusion.

"Maddox!" Vash announced.

"Ah... no," Brian frowned. "It's Yong Soo."

"Same difference," Vash decided. "I still get to cuff him."

"Ye're talkin' about Yong Soo, righ'?" Roy asked.

"...sure."

"Then let's go!" Roy announced as Brian closed his notepad and they headed for the door.

None of them realized the mistake they had already made.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Rasheed is my name for Cameroon. As you can tell, he was the doctor before Alfred. He inspired Alfred, actually, if anyone remembers Al saying that in AFTEO. To be honest though, I do not know enough about Cameroon yet to feel comfortable with writing his character. Which is why his part was so small._


	17. And That Other Guy

**The Culprit**

It had been a busy day. Prompted by one thing.

Xiu.

There was a reason Yong Soo usually came to see her and not the other way around. Disturbing Young Sil's delicate order of things threw the world out of whack for both of them. He had thought Xiu knew that.

Xiu had thought Young Sil had grown out of it by this point. So going to their house in the morning did not create any problems in her mind. She already had other problems, like the fact Ramon did not seem to realize she was angry with him. She was angry because she was worried because of the weight he put on.

Seriously, what was his obsession with ice cream?

While she had not seen Young Sil at all, he had seen her. And he had made Yong Soo a proposition.

Not that Yong Soo had really wanted to do it, but it was preferable than dealing with his brother if he did _not_, so he did, and it was done, and that was that.

Yong Soo did his best to convince himself that Young Sil was not the only one who liked chemistry. If Young Sil was going to test this newest experiment of his, this was just Yong Soo helping out. It would be fun!

Yeah.

And it was not hard. Young Sil only gave him a general description of things. If he found something that fit the description, he picked it up. Or pulled it out, in the case of Ludwig's ceiling fan. Getting that out without raising the ire of either easily angered man in the house was a difficult task. More difficult than distracting the dogs.

(All they required was a handful of treats. Perhaps because they knew him well enough.)

He was almost seen at one point, by Mangus, Matthias, or Antonio. Fortunately Matthias was just trying to get Antonio settle an argument that was between himself and Mangus. Antonio was too busy being cheerful to really pick a side. They were all distracted.

Everywhere else had been easy. The only other time he might have been seen was at Eduard's house. But Eduard was almost more distracted than Mangus, Matthias, and Antonio had been with what he was shouting into the phone.

Yong Soo had not seen the problem with any of it.

Well, except for the one at home.

* * *

He could almost hear Kiku in his head.

_'Crush his spirit Alfred. Don't help him. The man is a freak.'_

Huh. The Kiku in his head seemed a great deal more cynical and evil than Kiku in real life. Not that he had the time to think about that right now. Alfred realized he could not knock on the front door. So he knocked on the back door and then went and let himself in through the front door of the Im household.

Young Sil had to be up to something _again_. But if Yong Soo had really wanted to take a bunch of things from people, they would have known about it. Yong Soo would not have been quiet about it. Alfred did not know him all that well, but he knew _that_ much about him from Maddox.

He also knew (through Maddox) that Young Sil and Yong Soo had been getting worse.

Therefore he was not all that surprised when he found Yong Soo in the house miserably in a corner.

"Smells minty in here," Alfred commented.

"Eduard's herbs," Yong Soo replied dully, not up for pretending otherwise.

"Right," Alfred nodded, grabbing Yong Soo by the arm and getting him out of there. Arthur would comment if Alfred took Yong Soo home (as would most everybody), so they went to the old church instead. "You really need to stand up for yourself, Yong Soo."

"I do too!" Yong Soo responded hotly.

"You stole _everything_," he retorted.

Yong Soo glared at him.

Alfred shrugged.

It did not seem like he could keep up the anger for long. And Alfred really did not know what else to say. Which probably meant he should not have said anything, but Alfred was not all that good at that.

"...so what about Maddox's dolphins?"


	18. Guns, Lots Of Guns

**The Mistake**

**(And Detective Zwingli's Fix-All Method)**

Such a pretty sight was the town of Hearth. From a distance...

Who am I kidding? Things were crazed and not peaceful at all. Not even from a distance. Even from a distance one could see the insanity brewing. It had been building up all day.

To be honest, this had been building up for a while. After all, Elizaveta and Ivan were currently in a spat and that meant the moment they were to meet up again things would go pear shaped. And that meant of course it was going to. After all, Elizaveta felt bad for keep Heidi in the inn. She decided that as long as she stuck with the girl it would be all right. With Vash seeming to want to leave as soon as possible, this was the best time to give Heidi a tour of Hearth.

Combine that with the fact people still had no idea where there things had gone.

So began the domino effect, right in front of the Store.

"Where is my frying pan?" Elizaveta asked, jabbing a finger in his direction.

"Vhere is ceiling fan?" Ivan retorted, still trying to return that favour for Ludwig.

Heidi watched with big eyes as the both of them bickered, drawing the attention of anyone else who came by. Which, oddly enough, was a whole lot of people. Either this town was really small, or not small enough. Heidi was not sure.

Anyone could tell when things were about to turn ugly. It might have just been Elizaveta and Ivan arguing (accusing), but then Natalia showed up. The only person who had the sense (and ability) to go home at this point was Gupta.

"Ivan, I doubt Elizaveta stole my ceiling fan," Ludwig said, trying to calm matters.

"Give it back, you witch!" Natalia hissed.

Raivis hid behind Eduard who would have walked away if Natalia had not been assisting him with his shopping and was currently holding half of what he had just bought from the Store.

Because it was right where it was, Berwald had come out. He heard the accusations and was really ready for the culprit to be _here_. As there was no obvious culprit, he simply proceeded to be unhappy. Which was not really going to cause anything else except for the fact Matthias had to be obnoxious.

"Don't lose your temper, Ber. No one knows still, I guess. Since it wasn't you. No need to blow up at all of them then."

Berwald then lost his temper when he would not have done so previously.

This caused Hanatamago to begin barking like crazy. Tino was unable to quiet him and Lovino's headache (that he had gotten after Brian and Roy and that stupid new policeman showed up) got worse.

"_Ve~_ It's okay, Lovino!"

"Shut up! It is _not_! You are such an idiot!"

Antonio's Lovino-is-distressed senses went off, but he could not get past the crowd into the store. Which would have been fine, if he had not bumped into Yao.

"Watch where you're going, aru!" Yao exclaimed, not in a good mood as Maddox had labelled everything in his house with post-it notes.

Incorrectly. _My table is not a bathtub, aru._ Last thing he needed was for someone like Yong Soo to come in and take that as a challenge.

"Sorry~" Antonio said sincerely, bumping into Gilbert. Which would have been fine. They would have gotten in an argument of which the likes are seen between best friends all the time. But he dropped his new wrench, which happened to look a lot like...

Well, any wrench. Whatever the case, Matthias leaped at it.

"My wrench!"

"_My _wrench!" Gilbert retorted.

At this point, Heidi had stopped trying to pay attention to everything. She was really worried about being crushed by someone (_i.e. everyone_) when she was thankfully pulled from the fray.

"Do not hold it against them," Maddox said to her, a point of calm within the storm. "This is them being rather nice."

"Don't you mean _'they aren't usually this bad'_?" Heidi tried to clarify.

"No."

Heidi looked sadly into the fray.

Meanwhile, three cowboys looked into the– um, Vash, Roy, and Brian had diverted their path when hearing a tumultuous commotion. Because it had reached the level where it could be described as _tumultuous_.

"Oh great," Roy sighed. "Ye take it."

"Nah," Brian shot his brother a look that was either "_you_ take it" or "isn't this both of our jobs?".

And Vash was not going to take it.

Two shots (into the ground, not the air, he was not an idiot) and everyone was quiet.

"That. Is. It." Vash hissed the words in the both angriest and calmest voice he had ever used in his life. He walked forward, making certain everyone's eyes were on him.

They were.

Heidi rushed up to his side as she no longer seemed to have her other protector at her side. She clung to his side and Vash wrapped an arm around her. His other hand, still holding his precious gun, did not move.

"I have had enough of your town today," Vash told them honestly. "So either all of you do not move until I am done with my arrest or I will arrest you all. Anyone who resists will be considered hostile and I have a lot more bullets."

Everyone stayed quiet. Vash patted Heidi on the head before leaving her with Roy and Brian as he walked down the way to the house Brian had pointed out to him earlier.

Everyone watched as he arrested Young Sil and took him to the police station.

"That's na Yong Soo," Roy told him.

"Whatever," Vash replied.

"Okay, okay! I did it! I did it!" Young Sil exclaimed, cowering from proximity to the gun that Vash had not bothered putting away yet.

And suddenly everyone knew why they had really stopped to pay attention to one Vash Zwingli.

"You did it, brother!" Heidi sang out cheerfully.

"How did you figure it out?" Elizaveta asked, rather impressed.

"Yeah... jist when ye 'ad us thinking it was Yong Soo..." Brian began. Both fortunately and unfortunately for Vash, no one was listening to know that he had gotten it right by accident.

"Hard work pays off," Vash replied. Because that was true, whether or not he had gone in to arrest the right person or not.

Plus, he could not tell Heidi that he had only been lucky.

* * *

_Notes:_

_Why was _everyone_ in front of the Store? Tino thought a sale would make Berwald feel better. So much for that._

_It is a fact that if everyone leaves Young Sil alone, he will leave them alone. At least... he will _now_._

_Another fact about Hearth: there is no mayor. Who is in charge? That is anyone's guess. In present times most people would say Vash, but when it comes right down to it it has always been Elizaveta. Even Gilbert would (grudgingly) admit that._


	19. He Will Always Remember

**His Father's Words**

The most surprising thing about all of this was that no one seemed to care.

"Hello there, Vash!"

Needless to say, Vash was not used to this. Not that he made a point out of threatening everyone with guns. Not even all the people that annoyed him got that treatment. Yet, usually after that had been done, those people would always leave him alone.

Not this time. Everyone knew his name now and everyone was either friendly or indifferent toward him. No fear. No hatred. Not that Vash would have minded. He had expected it, after all. So... nothing negative? Not what he had thought would happen.

"I could drive you and your sister into town," Kiku told him and Heidi when they finally saw him. "But I am waiting for an important work message. After it arrives though, I can drive you there."

"Thank you."

"What do you do?" Heidi asked curiously.

Kiku did not respond. "Work," he responded before returning to his house.

"That's _always_ his answer," Alfred assured him as he went through Kiku's mail.

Vash did not need to be assured. Vash did not care. As soon as they were out of this town, none of what happened here would matter. Everyone had their belongings (or what was left of them) returned to them. Brian or Roy or both of them could deal with Young Sil (not that he seemed to be getting a very strict imprisonment or anything) and Vash would be _out of here_.

But it left him wondering why no one avoided him.

"People 'ere only get scared when the danger's right 'ere," Brian told him, shrugging his shoulder. "'ow long are ye sticking around fer?"

"Kiku says the latest it could be is by Friday," Vash replied stiffly. Too long for his liking, but considering how there was no public transportation out of here, he could deal with it. Plus, Heidi seemed to be getting along with Elizaveta. Elizaveta seemed nice enough. He could survive until the Friday.

It seemed quite possible he could survive until next Friday. Which was when he realized something.

Maddox. He had not seen _Maddox_. The man who could not leave him alone was now gone.

Vash knew he ought to be relieved, but it only put him on edge. What was he up to?

The only reason he asked Arthur was because Vash had the impression (both formed by his own experiences and by the advice by everyone in town) that when one did _not_ know where Maddox was there could be a big problem at hand. So he asked just to make sure he or Heidi would not have any unpleasant surprises in store for them before they left.

"Hiding in his room," Arthur replied. "I think he's still panicking because of your gun fire. Honestly, he mucks about with louder and more dangerous things... but leave him alone. If he doesn't want to see you I won't let you bother him."

Which left Vash more confused than ever. _Though if he is not planning something strange, I suppose it does not matter. I never want to see him again anyway._

It would have worked out perfectly but for the fact he _did_ see Maddox again.

"Guns are horrid."

Vash turned to face the monotone man. Maddox said the words with the same amount of application he put in any of his sentences. Vash did not know whether to take him serious or not.

Then again, Vash tended to take things seriously in the first place. So he did so.

"Guns are simply another sort of power in existence," Vash replied. "As they exist people will use them for good or evil. So I will use them for good."

"Who told you that?"

Vash narrowed his eyes. "What gives you that impression?"

"People do not talk like that," Maddox said. "I believe you were told that by an alien. Please return to the atmosphere. We have nitrogen."

With that, Vash returned to the inn, hoping Maddox would not follow him.

_Scared of guns my foot._


	20. Sorry, Vash And Sorry To Brian and Roy

**What We All Knew Was Going To Happen**

Vash knew something was wrong as soon as she saw the smirk on Brian's face, the grin on Roy's. Heidi looked through the memo on the desk with interest.

"Apparently some request was granted, brother. Your transfer is here! Imagine that, what luck! If we had left earlier we would have had to find another way back into town!"

"Why?" Vash asked the other two, because he was incapable of making any other sounds with his mouth. Other than a pitiful whine, but that was too far beneath him. Therefore he opted for the (likely) pointless question.

"Because," Roy snickered, throwing another file on the desk.

"Ye're funny," Brian admitted out loud, lips still twitching.

"Jist wha' we need in Hearth," Roy agreed. "Some new blood. Laughable blood."

_Someone's_ blood was going to be all over the floor. Vash took in a deep breath.

"Now that you are in charge I suppose there will be a lot of clean up in this office," Heidi commented.

The world paused.

"Wha'?" Roy asked.

"It says Vash is being instated as the superior officer," Heidi paraphrased. Vash put out his hand and his sister walked over to give it to him. Here were the words, trapping him in this Hearth. Here were the words...

Putting him in charge.

This did not make him feel much better.

"I don't mind staying in Hearth," Heidi said. "I rather like it. Don't you, Vash?"

_Not really, Heidi. Not at all._

Vash sighed. "I suppose it will grow on me." _Like a tumour._

He was just going to have to make the most out of it.

* * *

_Notes:_

_The end. This should not have taken more than a year and for that I apologise. Still, I hope you all enjoyed this! Back to Hearth one-shots for me.  
_


End file.
